I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
