They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize