DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
