It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
