she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
