the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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