There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
