She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
