I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
