Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
