This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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