so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
