His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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