is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
