How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
