the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
