If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
