Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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