Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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