And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
