Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i think my cat just said my name.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize