i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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