There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Randomize
