In America we eat man semen.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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