Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize