And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
