ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize