Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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