Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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