what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
