I want to walk on stilts...naked
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The ass gains better be worth it
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
