I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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