never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
