I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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