similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
