If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
