the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
