some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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