I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
