how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
