drinking out of a sandbucket again
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize