This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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