I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
