so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
