So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
