i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
