Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
