He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
