Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
