did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
