Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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