lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
