All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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