guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
