bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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