you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
