Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
