Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm both gender and math confused
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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