All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
