I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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