I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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