I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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