And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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