trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
