they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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