P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
