We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
