Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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